Well it will take me approximately an hour longer than what it should do to write this blog as I can guarantee I will of had to get up and ping my router roughly 15 times. Thinking positively at least I am exercising!! (I think that might be what psychiatrists call delusional)
Above is (pictured centre) Arse the ring leader who is interfering with my Internet and the other two (right) Bollocks Brain and (left) Halfwit, the ones that make up the triplets affectionately known as Telecoms.
I was lulled into a false sense of security with a couple of months of blissful Internet but now I have vanished once again. I can only be seen as a distant cloud typing random "g's" in local just to check I am actually online.
I am offering bribes to the engineer from beer, french fancies perhaps stuff you can get from 0898 numbers..to my American friends think dodgy phone lines that require you to sell a kidney to pay the bill.
Not having the Internet is making me discover new things like I have too many cobwebs on my ceiling, that I need to water my bamboo plant, and that tele really is rubbish.
However I did decide to manicure my trotters yesterday and sat with a face pack on whilst reciting new words that could be entered into a profanisaurus all preceded by the word Internet. I would divulge an example but I am already in fear that I may be in breach of profanity by referring to an oompa lumpa as Bollocks Brain.
I am frustrated that I can't get online but it is making me actually think about using my time constructively. Sometimes readers don't you think the minute you click your SL icon that time just seems to run away with itself? I am not castigating our love of bandwidth but have you actually dusted down your own cobwebs and treated yourself to a trotter makeover whilst shoving licorice allsorts in your gob. For a short interlude its not really that bad and once you have Columbo on well its excitement all the way!
Yes I am perhaps a glass half full girlie but all the shouting in the world won't fix me and I have an engineer that is as equally fed up with my fault as he arduously tries to fix it. So patience is apparently a virtue and as I work in health maybe its something that is inherent of me. (Although my dental hygienist has a look of Hannibal Lecter when scaling and polishing) .
I suppose what I am rabbiting on about is you won't catch me online whilst broken but I will return as chirpy as I left with lovely manicured trotters.
Being broken enforces me to dust off my Columbo box sets and that can't be half bad! (OK shurrup I am trying to keep a sunny disposition)
Note to Sister Cathy apologies for swear words but I have actually said more bedtime prayers whilst being cut off (and that's the truth)
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